Little brothers

My youngest son has discovered the art of copying what his siblings say. He actually calls himself "the copy machine".

As you would probably guess, this annoys and frustrates his older brother to no end. So I told him that when the copy machine starts copying, just quit talking. Then he won't have anything to copy. This worked for a little while.

Then Jake devised a plan to outsmart his little brother. (Or so he thought. ) Jake enticed "the copy machine" to turn on. Then he said, "Jake is #1 and Nick is #2".

To which my quick-witted, little copier replied with a rather devious giggle, "Nick is #1 and Jake is #3."

This immediately sent big brother into a frustrated, screaming frenzy through the house. My husband and I couldn't help but laugh. At four years old, he's one smart little bugger!

Scared Prayers

So I haven't been writing too much on here. Since I am pregnant my brain has turned to mush and it is rather difficult to put together even a simple sentence. But I am trying. Bare with me.

Last night I came home rather late from a weekend away. As soon as I laid down, my youngest son walked into my room crying that he was scared. When my kids wake up scared I always take them back to their room and pray for them. Tonight was no exception. The only difference this time was that I missed my little boy terribly, so I decided to lay down with him while we prayed and wait for him to fall asleep.

I prayed for Jesus to come and sit with my baby through the night and keep him safe. When the amen's where done, he put his fingers in his mouth, grabbed his boppy (his name for his blanket), and just looked at me. After a few seconds he rolled over, but his fingers gently touched my face so that he knew I was still there with him. Since he was having to make sure I was not leaving, I assumed this would probably take awhile. There would be no easy way to slip out of his bed at this point.

But only a few seconds later, he rolled back over to look at me. I smiled. He frowned. Then he said, "Why you not getting out of my bed?"

I guess when Jesus is sitting with you, you really don't your mommy there, too. I smiled and thanked Jesus for the comfort and protection that He brings to my children when I cannot be there with them.

Precious Moments

My youngest son is at a great age. He is always doing the funniest and often very sweet things. I just had to share.

• He was very tired one night after a movie. We didn't have his "boppy" and he was beside himself, screaming hysterically. I tried to calm him down, but nothing worked. As I was reaching across him to buckle him into his car seat, he reached up and grabbed me around my neck. He squeezed me tight, pulled me closer to him, and wouldn't let go. After a few moments, he took a deep breath and said "OK, Mommy. I'm ready to go home now." I love it when I am all that he needs.
• I was putting him to bed one night. As I was praying he reached up and gently laid his hand on my cheek. He kept it there until I said "amen". When I opened my eyes, he was just looking at my face, sucking on his two little finger, completely contented.
• Today he is practicing t-ball with his father and big brother. Big brother hit a double and was waiting on second base. Daddy told him that he needed to "hit his brother all the way home." As you may have already guessed, that was the wrong choice of words. He took his bat, ran to second base and proceeded to hit his big brother with the bat, all the way to home base. Oh the literal mind of a four year old!

Making a difference

So often, I feel like I should be doing something bigger for God. The ways that I am serving Him seem so small. Am I really making a difference?

I was reminded by a friend today what a special job I have. I am serving Him in a way that He designed specifically for me. I am serving Him in a way that is most certainly making a difference for His Kingdom. I am a mom. How could I serve my God in a more special way than that? I am an example of Christ to my children. They watch me and learn who Christ is by my actions, by my love.

What could be better than that?

Blue lips

OK. So here we go. I am forcing myself to write today. I have been in a bit of a fog the past few weeks. I am positive that it is hormonal , as I am due to have another baby by September. We are very excited about this, but also a quite surprised. In four and a half years, I had forgotten how much my body HATES being pregnant. And if you are one of those mom's who love being pregnant, you can just go away right now. I'm not talking to you anymore! Just kidding. I will just envy you form afar. Maybe in a few weeks, things will be brighter.

We've had a lot going on at home right now, too. I am sure that I have mentioned before that we are a foster family. This experience has been a roller coaster of emotions. It has been most difficult at times when I cannot talk to anyone because of confidentiality. These past few weeks have been more difficult for me than usual. I think maybe it's hormones, but also just sheer exhaustion from the ride of emotions I've had these past 20 months that we have had our little girl. Some days are good, some days are bad.

Lately, we have been dealing with the same disciplinary issue, over and over again. Every day is the same thing. In the beginning the behavior was childish. She really didn't know any better. Now we find her sneaking, hiding and lying in order to not get caught. Now it's become foolishness. I get so frustrated and angry when day after day she continues to break the rules, knowingly.

Yesterday, after dinner, the kids got to pick a treat from the candy jar. She picked a small piece of taffy. My younger son chose a fun dip. For those of you who don't know, fun dip has a little candy stick that you lick and then dip into a packet of colored sugar. He didn't finish it and it was left on the counter. Later in the evening, my husband noticed that the fun dip pack was gone and little missy was acting suspiciously. He found her and asked if she had taken the fun dip. She denied it through blue teeth. He later found the packet hidden by the dryer in our basement. Now this wouldn't necessarily be a big deal, but it happens all the time! On a daily basis. I am tired of rebuking, correcting and punishing for the same behaviors day after day after day. It's exhausting..

Today I was reminded of how often I do the same thing. How many times have I knowingly sinned against my God? And then tried to hide it from him - as if He wouldn't know, as if He wouldn't see the blue stains on my lips. How many times has His rebuke fallen upon deaf ears? Over and over again God will continue to train me until I get it right. He may get frustrated, but he is always persistent. Why should I think my children will be any different from me? They are not perfect and I cannot expect them to be. I can only train them over and over again with the same loving care as my God has with me. He is so patient and compassionate with me, even in the midst of my sin. I want my children to see those same characteristics in me as I teach them His ways.

Quiet Time

At the beginning of a new year, I want to encourage all of the mom's out there reading this. We all have good days and we all have bad days. No matter what kind of day you are having, there is one thing that is needed every day. You need time alone with your best friend, your Counselor, the creator of the universe. You may need this time with Him even before you find out what kind of day you are having.

If you've never had quiet time, alone with God, I encourage you to start today. If you have had quiet time in the past, but have let that time slip past you, I encourage you to start again today. He is waiting for you. The greatest desire of His heart is to spend time with you and with you alone.

Here are some tips to get you started (again)...

• Start small. Maybe five minutes, maybe ten. Maybe one day a week, maybe three. Whatever works for you and God. Eventually that time may increase. It's not the quantity, but quality that counts.
• Find a quiet spot. I close my bedroom door and turn on the noisemaker. Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom.
• I put in a video for my kids. I make sure they have something to do independently for the time I need. I tell them that I am having quiet time and to please leave me alone until their movie is over. I tell them that I will be a happy mommy if I can have some time to be with God. They like seeing a happy mommy. If you have little ones, nap time is a perfect time.
• Have everything in one spot. I keep a Bible, notebook, pen and maybe a devotional book all together.
• Make it a priority! The dishes and laundry will still be there when you are done. And you can quickly fill up your time with "things to do." All of a sudden, there is no time left in the day for the one thing you need most.
• What to do?? Begin with prayer- be thankful, ask forgiveness, pray for others, pray for yourself. Read your Bible. I like Proverbs and Psalms the best. Sing praises. Listen to some praise songs. Read a devotional. Journal your thoughts and prayers.
• Know your distractors and be prepared for them. Your kids may interupt. Make sure they know how important this time is to you. Turn the phone off. Pray for focus.

Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...

1.What are your stumbling blocks to having quiet time with God?

2. What are some other tips you may have for busy moms looking for a little alone time with Jesus?

Memories

Having Flarp stuck in my hair is one Christmas memory I will never forget. But will my kids remember it?? Probably not.

I realize that I am one of very few people who can remember a great deal of their childhood. I actually have a memory of when I was still in my crib. I remember waking up from a nap, staring at my ceiling, and seeing the railing of my white crib. I remember standing up, holding onto the edge. I remember hearing dishes clanking together outside my room. I remember a large black spider crawling toward me. I remember being scared and screaming for someone to save me. I remember my older brother and sister coming into my room and pulling me out of my bed.

There are so many things I remember from my early childhood. Then I talk with friends who don't remember a thing before High School. It makes me wonder... what will my children remember??

There are moments in our days when I pray that they will remember. When we dance in our kitchen together, will they remember? When I tuck them in at night, rub their backs (like my daddy did), and pray for them, will they remember? Our family movie nights and game nights, will they remember? I pray that they forget the moments when I lose my temper or refuse to play a game because I am too busy folding laundry.

There are so many things I want my kids to remember. So, when they were born I began a journal for each child. During their first year or two, I wrote faithfully at least once a month. After that, my goal was to simply get in there at least once a year, on their birthday. But I often find myself jotting short entries in their books to remember something that they said or did that was too cute to forget.

Around Christmas time, I think a lot about the wonderful memories that I have. I want my kids to have some good ones, too.

Christmas Day Hair Flarping- A day to remember.

I wasn't sure if I should put this post on my family blog or mommy blog. Since I just put a post on the family blog, I guess it's time for me to talk about being a mom during this holiday.

As many moms out there, I have a vision as to what I think my Christmas day should look like... Excited children coming down the stairs to see the wonder of Christmas lights and presents under the tree. I dream of thankful children because they were given exactly what they wanted. A time of eating good food and maybe even an afternoon nap. But what I really envisioned this year was a day to spend with my family- playing games, opening presents, eating food, whatever! Just a day filled with joy, celebrating Jesus' birth.

It started out good. The kids were so excited Christmas morning. The oldest two rushed downstairs at the crack of dawn to open their stockings. I made them wait until my youngest was up before we could open the presents under the tree. By 8am, I thought the oldest two were going to explode, so I decided to wake up their brother. He had actually forgotten it was Christmas! How can a four year old forget it's Christmas?? But he did. When I reminded him what day it was, he rushed downstairs.

We opened presents. My husband and I spent the morning assembling racetracks, putting in batteries, and teaching the rules to new games. Then while the kids were playing, we opened our own gifts. It was a nice quiet morning at home.

Later in the morning, we went to my in-laws for breakfast. This is where all of the insanity began. One of the best gifts the kids got was this stuff called "flarp". It is just a small, plastic container of goo. When you stick your hand inside, it makes a farting noise. My kids loved it. They received many more gifts and lots and lots of sugary treats. They got so overstimulated from the excitement of it all, I didn't think we could ever bring them down. When we got back home, we Skyped my family in Atlanta and Germany and then sent everyone to take naps.

Naps didn't help. The kids woke up screaming, whining, pouting, demanding, and refusing to listen. They had become greedy little monsters amidst the rush of what is supposed to be a day of giving. We tried playing with them and their new toys. We played one game of Uno, trying to teach two four year olds the rules. (I was whipped by the end of that one!) We put together a new "Guess Who" game. (BTW, this is no easy task for those of you have never tried. The game is wonderful, but the set-up is rather difficult.) I showed the younger ones how to make smiley faces with their Light Brights and where they could carefully store the extra little pieces. It seemed everyone had calmed down a bit. Then my sister Skyped me.

As we tried to talk, each child ran in front of the camera to show their aunt a new toy. The excitement was beginning to build again. They not only showed her their new Christmas stuff, but they began bringing her just odd things like old, dirty mittens. At this point I told them all to go downstairs and play quietly for a few minutes. I just wanted to talk to my sister. Within minutes my oldest son comes upstairs and places something on my shoulder. As I reach back, I feel goop stuck in my hair. What was that? He is laughing. He had taken the "flarp" out of it's container and laid it on my shoulder as a joke, not realizing it was oozing into my hair. My sister laughed hysterically as I tried to pull this goo out of my hair. I was not amused. I sent the kids downstairs again and threw the flarp in the trash. My sister and I finished our conversation with orange goo in my hair. What could I do?? She insited that I should take a picture and post this on my blog. So here it is...

After our call was over, I pulled the rest of the flarp out, most of it anyways. Then I went to check on the kids. The basement was covered with all of their new Christmas toys, thrown throughout the room and pieces everywhere. The "Guess Who" game, which my husband and I had spent forever putting together, was in pieces. Every tiny, colored, Light Bright peg was thrown on the floor and stuck between couch cushions. The kids were laughing at the destruction of their new toys. And I had flarp in my hair!!!!

Now, it's Christmas and I want to give them a bit of a break. But this was too much for me to handle. After all of the fighting and whiny attitudes that I had heard today, I was at the end of my rope. I had the kids pick up all of their new toys and put them in a pile. We had a long discussion about being thankful for and taking care of the things we are given. So, yes, I took away my children's gifts on Christmas Day. Now, my husband was quick to point out that I was being a little harsh. But I had been leniant all day and this seemed to have created ungrateful, mean little children. Something drastic needed to be done.

Today my kids are more polite and thankful for everything. They are quickly earning back every toy through kindness and respect. Today is a new day and maybe they will remember this lesson next year. Maybe not. Either way, I am looking forward to today- a day of playing games and reading books and enjoying my beautiful children.

Uncertain Times

Well, it's been a while since I last wrote in here. It's that time of year for chaos and this year seems to be a little more chaotic than others. I just want to quickly share what God is doing in my life right now.

I am currently consumed with uncertainties. With our nation and economy where it is and by being a foster parent, uncertainty has become a way of life for me. Lately, it has become all consuming. I am not worried or upset. It's just all I think about or talk about.

It's funny how God speaks to us. I happen to be one of those people that God has to repeat himself over and over and over and over again before I get it. And the past couple of weeks, I keep hearing the same words over and over. I hear them in my pastor's message. I hear them in music. I hear them coming out of my friend's mouths. I see the words repeatedly in books I'm reading and especially in scripture.

"TRUST ME!"

So I am choosing to trust the one person who can actually do something about my uncertain life right now. I may not know what is going to happen, but I can rest assured that it will be something good. Romans 8:28

Happy Mom

I am emotionally drained. The past two weeks have been very difficult for our family. Most of my stress and exhaustion stem from foster care. Unfortunately I cannot go into detail, but I can say that I am beyond tired.

Usually when I am this drained, I really struggle with being a mom. But that has not been the case this time around. During the past two days I have had such blessed moments with each of my children.

My oldest son stayed up later than the younger ones last night. So he and I sat on the couch and read books and played a quick game of "Sorry!". We talked about school and some trouble he was having with some kids. This big seven year old boy stretched across my lap, gave me kisses and told me how much he loved me. He also made sure to remind me that I was not allowed to kiss him in front of his friends. It was a sweet moment and one that I desperately needed.

This morning, my husband made him a bowl of corn flakes for breakfast. My oldest began to ask his daddy for a banana, but changed his mind and asked me to cut up the banana onto his cereal. It was a time when I felt needed and wanted as a mom. No one can cut his bananas like his mommy. And I love it!

My youngest son is a character. He can be very difficult most days, but then he does something cute. Today was no exception. He woke up with a crinkled up nose and a mass of curly bed-head hair. He grunted and curled up in my lap. Then I asked him what day it was. He imediately grinned his huge dimpled grin. He was so excited it was Friday and his day for show-and-tell. He is the poster child for "TGIF".

And finally our foster daughter. She is as much of a challenge as my younger son, but on a different level. Yesterday I had a chance to spend some much needed one-on-one time with her. We talked and laughed, played memory and cuddled on the couch watching cartoons. It was beautiful!

God is an amazing God who knows exactly what I need and when I need it. Today is a day when I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade it for the world. These are the moments I want to remember on the tough days. I encourage you to write down your own sweet moments with your children. Keep them on hand to remember all of the wonderful things God does for us! He is so awesome!

Psalm 143:5

The Karin Manual

Sunday mornings are always difficult for me. Satan really works hard to get me flustered, but this Sunday I had a plan, and it worked!


My kids woke me up extremely early yesterday morning. And for those of you who know me well, you know that I do NOT like being woken up. I was not a happy camper and I was extremely tired. The kids refused to do anything I asked of them. And they pounded me with demands, "I want this. I want that. Get me this ,mommy." I lost it! I had a complete meltdown before 7am. My poor husband panicked and almost walked out the door. He hates it when I get like this and he really doesn't know what to do. Now typically, this type of outburst would have ended with me laying in bed all day or benge eating.


Fortunately, I had a plan in place. I know to expect these kinds of Sunday mornings. They happen to us a lot. satan really wants me to go to church with the wrong attitude or to just not go at all. Many times, he has won this battle. But I was determined to win this Sunday. So about two weeks ago, on day when I was feeling really good, I created "The Karin Manual". I wrote it for my husband for times such as these. I gave it to him when we were both feeling good and could spend some time talking about it all. He liked it so much that he said I should share this on my blog. So here it is.


This little book is still a work in progress. I will most likely add to it and delete things as I grow older and as my life changes. But for now it is about three pages in length and on purple card stock.


It has a list of things that I need on a romantic level...
hugs, flowers, love notes, date night, kissing me in public, holding my hand, and breakfast in bed are just a few examples.


Things that are helpful for my husband to do around the house like dishes, vacuuming, picking up his things, car maintenance, and yard work.

And things he does that are really not so helpful like laundry, leaving chewing gum on the counter or working so hard on things around the house that he doesn't have the time or energy for me.


I've also included lists of things that my kids can do that make me smile like picking up after themselves, celebrating mommy by saying thank you or drawing a picture just for me or giving mommy a few minutes alone.


And finally, a list of what to do when I have a meltdown. Some of the things I put on this list are to just listen to me, hold me, stay with me no matter what I do, give me time, and pray for me.


So on Sunday morning my husband was about to leave. He just didn't know what to do and his way of handling it was to just leave me alone until I calmed down. I ran upstairs and grabbed the manual from his dresser. I flipped to the page about what to do when I cry and I begged him not to leave. He stopped and said, OK. He held me and listened to me and let me cry. In five minutes I was fine and we went about our morning. Because we had prepared, my husband knew exactly what to do to help me out of my pit. He prayed for me and loved me.


Now I know that there are many single moms reading this. You can still write a manual for yourself. It is good for us as women to know what we need. We can keep the manual for ourselves or we could give it to a close friend, family member or even your older children. Have something ready to use during a time of desparation. I encourage you to write a "manual" this week and keep it on hand for when you are feeling the enemy's attack. Be prepared.

Seeking Help

We had a conference meeting for one of my children yesterday. I have been very discouraged at how school was going for this child. It was becoming a very negative experience and I was ready to make some drastic changes. I called some people within the program and voiced my concerns. They put together this meeting within a week. It was a simple round table discussion to get some ideas to make school more successful for my child. There were nine adults in the room coming together for one little girl. I was impressed, and I was very encouraged when I left.

Through this experience, I am reminded to ask for help. So often, as moms, we tend to think we need to be superwoman, that we can do it all ourselves. That is a lie. There are people out there to help us through the tough spots in life. God has created them to be there just for you, to meet your exact needs. We need to seek help when we need it and we need to accept help when it is offered .

If you don't know where to start or what to do to find the help that you or your children may need, there is one place to start. On your knees. Start praying. Ask friends to pray. Listen to God's voice and accept the help whether you think you need it or not.

I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

Snow Days

Today we got our first snow for the season. Most of it has already melted by mid-morning, but that's OK. My kids get so excited when they see the first snow fall. It is contagious. Our morning was filled with a bit of craziness making sure everyone had coats, gloves, hats and boots. I always love the first part of the winter season.

But then I think about the cabin fever that sets in a few months down the road. It is very subtle and can creep up on me rather quickly. Whether you live in Canada or Florida, you have had those days as a mom. Do you remember a time when you have been stuck in your house, alone, for days, with just you and your kids, for hours on end?? You have played every game there is known to man. You have put together every puzzle. And if you have to watch one more episode of Elmo's World or read one more "Little Bear" story, you are going to scream!!

I have only lived in the northeast for about five years now, so I am still learning how to get through the winters. A couple of years ago, I started a folder with ideas for snow/rainy days. As I come across ideas in magazines, on the Internet or from friends, I write them down and put them in my folder. I want to share some of these ideas with you. Please share some ideas of your own. It's always good to be prepared! (II Timothy 4:2)

• Grab some boxes, blankets and sheets and build a fort.
• Bake some homemade cookies.
• Go on a treasure hunt. I sit on the couch and have my kids bring me one item at a time (something blue, something round, an animal, etc.). Then I have them race to put everything back when we're done.
• Shaving Cream/Redi-Whip mixed with food coloring makes great bathtub paints.
• Make an obstacle course through your house (going up and down stairs is an energy burner:)
• Make a picture collage with magazine cut-outs.
• Homemade instruments (http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/explore/homemademusic.htm )
• Play with shaving cream on the kitchen floor. This cleans my kids and my floor all at the same time.
• Make sock bean bags.
• Make sock puppets.
• Draw pictures and mail them to grandparents.
• Dress up, video tape your kids, then watch it together.
• Balloons (one package of balloons can create hours of fun!!)
• Make robot costumes, trains, astronaut costumes, etc. using old boxes.
• Cooking creations. Take out a few ingredients and let the kids make whatever they want. We like to make "dirty soup" using old spices and water. You can make both edible or pretend food.
• Make homemade playdough( http://www.creativekidsathome.com/activities/activity_8.html ) or slime (cornstarch and water)
• Go to the library.
• Sidewalk chalk in your garage.
• Ice cream in a bag.
• Rice box. (put rice in a large plastic box -I use an old plastic sled- and use it like a sand box in your house)
• Money games- matching money, snack bar, turn your house into a store.
• Make homemade stickers (http://www.crafterstouch.com/projectpage.aspx?projectid=83)
• Have a fun, no washing, bubble bath.
• Hand paint plates (find supplies at any craft store).
• Scavenger hunt
• Turn the music up and dance!!

The fat squirrel

My kids' schools are only about two miles or so from my house. On my way home from dropping them off this morning, I had at least five squirrels run across the road in front of me. One of them was so fat, I didn't think he was going to make it. As the temperature drops, I am sure those squirrels are gathering the last of their nuts to store up for the winter. They are making last minute preparation for the season.



As winter approaches, I find myself doing the same thing. I am closing windows and making sure the doors are draft proof. We store up wood for the stove, rushing out to get one more load to make sure we have enough to last. I get out all of our winter clothes. I make sure that everyone has hats, gloves, coats, boots and snow pants that fit. This year, I am making sure the kids have extra gloves because they will inevitably lose the first pair.



With the holidays coming up, there is yet another reason for me to scurry about like a fat little squirrel. I have already begun my Christmas shopping. I am trying to figure out what goodies I will be making for my neighbors. And where did I put my wrapping paper? Do I need more? Oh goodness, I hope I don't need more!



I have a group of girlfriends that I pray with. One of these ladies has written some devotions for us to work on during the Holidays. They are a constant reminder to me of how I really need to prepare for this time of year. What are the really important things I need to store-up?



When I prepare for winter, I have to look forward to many gloomy and grey days. Depression and cabin fever will almost positively overtake me at some point. How can I prepare? I have Bible verses at hand. I will post them around my home. I have a plan in place consisting of girlfriends, playdates, and a little "me-time". I have "snowed in" activities ready to go when my kids and I are bored. But most of all, I have my quiet time alone with God. His light is the only way for me to beat the winter blues.



When I prepare for the Holidays, I want to remember what I am celebrating. It's not about shopping and eating. Although, those are a fun part of it all. I am going to try my best this year to not let it overtake me. Thanksgiving and Christmas are all about giving. I was challenged by a friend when she asked me for ideas on how to show the love of Christ during these months of festivities. What does my family do to celebrate the real reason for the season? She knows we go to church and read about the birth of Christ. But how are we actually living it out? (I'll have to share my ideas on this one in a seperate blog.)



I just want you to think today about the coming change in our lives. How will you prepare like the squirrels? What are you choosing to "store up" this holiday and winter season? How will you survive?



Again, I want to encourage many of you to share your comments. You are all amazing moms and you all have great ideas. We could use them.

Focus on the Positive

So last week, I was reminded that many times when it comes to disciplining our kids, we need to focus on the positive.

One of my children has become increasingly difficult and every day for her is filled with negativity. So on Thursday I decided that no matter what she did-no matter how bad her behavior- we were going on a date. She was terrible!! All day!!! But I was determined. I had to constantly remind myself that I receive God's blessings even though I don't deserve them. I can't tell you how many times I thought that there was no way I was taking this child anywhere!! But I did. And it was wonderful, for both of us. We went to the play place at the mall and played forever. Then we had ice cream for dessert. It was refreshing to see our sweet little girl again. Now, keep in mind, I made it very clear to her that this date was not because of her behavior. We were on a date simply because I loved her. I told her all night how much I loved her and I gave her kisses and hugs every chance I got. What a difference a positive experience can make. On Friday, we ended up alone again and spent the morning shopping together and then out to a special lunch. Today, she is a different child.

I want to focus our thoughts on the good. I want to list some positive ways we can communicate to our children. This can turn our frustrations to joy. A positive experience can change our attitudes and our children will see that. I bet it will change their behaviors as well.

The first one comes from my sister-in-law. She is the one who inspired me to think happy thoughts. Here is what she said...

"I don't want to sound like I know it all cause I REALLY don't! And every situation is different... every child....everything... but I was struck this morning reading and remembering in Alabama... my kids were 8,6,4 and 1. I was homeschooling... and I too wanted a positive joyful day ... a change from the constant discipline and correction. I started a sticker chart ( it was a simple piece of paper with blank squares... I totally ignored the bad (what I could anyway,which was most!) and reinforced every good thing I saw...." Oh that was so nice of you to treat your sister that way".... "wow you put away your shoes"... "you ate all your lunch" ... "wow you got ready for bed quickly etc"... at first I was really grasping for the good and just had to reward some really tiny good things. But it didn't take long before things made a dramatic change. It was really amazing. I just randomly would say... "M that deserves a sticker"... I was not responsible for putting it on the chart...they were. They were young and honest enough that I just set the box by the charts and they picked one.... and didn't cheat... but not all kids are like that...but the kids really loved it. It made me see what they did right and it really made them want to do it right. I agree we need to teach them God's laws and truth. but in a way we can do that as well with a positive light..."didn't that feel good to do what you were supposed to"... "this pleases God and your mommy"etc, etc....anyway, I told them when their charts were full we would have an ice cream sundae night or go do something fun... like a special trip to the park....anyway, just a something to consider."

So we'll start with...

• Dates (one-on-one time with your child. No errands, no multi-tasking.)
• Sticker charts (no matter all the bad things they are doing, focus on only the positive)
• Pom-Pom jars (put colored cotton pom-poms into a jar, same concept as the stickers)
• At the dinner table say one thing nice about everyone there.
• Stop waiting for a special occasion, make today special! (bake a cake, eat lobster, use your best dishes)
• Have banana splits for breakfast.
• Turn up the music and sing and dance
• Turn off the TV!!! Spend time with your kids reading books or playing games. We like to play hide and go seek in the dark.

If you have an idea, please share it with the rest of us. We could use it!!!

Wisdom and Discipline

So, I am stuck on this topic of discipline. I guess it's because my kids are driving me insane!!! I am really struggling with them obeying and doing basic things that I ask. So, I am re-evaluating how I discipline, because what I am currently doing is obviously not working. This morning I was struck by several scripture references that use the words "wisdom" and "discipline" side-by-side.


Proverbs 1:7
Proverbs 12:1
Proverbs 15:31
Proverbs 23:23
Psalm 105:22 (teaching and discipline)
Psalm 94:12 (teaching and discipline)

When I read these verses, I ask myself, "When I discipline my children, am I teaching them God's laws?" To be perfectly honest, the answer to that is, "no". I am usually just mad. And I am trying to think of appropriate punishments that will make them remember to never ever disobey me again!! (note the "me" and the anger in my response. I'm working on it. Someday I will get it right. That's why this blog is here.)

I am not thinking about what my kids need to learn from their choices. I am not thinking about how God would want them to respond. I am not teaching wisdom. I am going about this whole discipline thing all wrong.

Today when I discipline my children, I will take the time to teach them wisdom from God's Word. Today will be a day filled with joy and not punishment.

Hopefully, I can remember to do this again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next....

God's Discipline

Our God is the perfect Father. Therefore, He is our best example to follow when it comes to disciplining our children. So how does our God discipline? Here's what I found. I encourage you to take the time to look up the scripture references and surrounding verses that speak to you.

• God's discipline sometimes seems harsh and severe, like when He destroyed entire cities and killed people on the spot. But He does this only when His people have continued to sin, continued to turn their backs to Him, continued to not respond/repent to His discipline. (Psalm 39:11; Deuteronomy 4:35&36; Leviticus 26:14)
• God will often offer blessings, rewards and compassion immediately after He disciplines. Some examples include Noah's Ark, the Israelites entering the Promised Land, destroying David's enemies, and answering prayers. (Job 5:17; Psalm 94:12; Leviticus 26:3)
• Sometimes God chooses to hug us and love on us and offer blessings when we really deserve harsh punishment. One example of this is found in the parable of The Lost Son in Luke 15:11-32. And the number one example is Jesus Christ dying for our sins! (Luke 23:41)
• God balances discipline and loving compassion perfectly. (Proverbs 3;12; Proverbs 13:24)
• God disciplines appropriately and fairly, not as a result of uncontrolled emotions. (Deuteronomy 11:2; Jeremiah 30:11)
• God has compassion on those who repent. A good example can be found after Jonah preaches in Ninevah (Jonah 3:10). You can also find God's compassion as Daniel prays for his nation in Daniel 9:1-19.

Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...

1. How can we us God's example when we discipline our own children?

2. What are some practical examples that you have used?

Life-giving discipline

Discipline is probably one of the most important tasks given to a parent. It is also probably one of the most difficult and most frustrating aspects of motherhood. I have heard so many mom's struggle in this area. Let's stop pretending every day is a joyous occasion and admit that some days just stink. My kids very rarely listen to what I have to say and so often make the wrong choices. I was not given an instruction manual when my kids were born! Or was I? Let's take a look at what Godly discipline looks like. Here are a couple of questions we can start with...

Why should I discipline? Proverbs 3:11 answers that question. "To produce a harvest of righteousness and peace." I want my children to be Godly men and women some day. I choose to discipline my children so that they will follow and obey God in all that do. This is what I ultimately want for my kids, but is this, in reality, why I discipline? No, not really. I most often discipline my kids because they aren't doing what I want them to do. They are making me look or feel bad. Once again, it's all about me. And that is when my earthly discipline fails me. That is when my kids don't get it and they stop listening to me. When I choose discipline that is Godly, that brings about peace and righteousness, then WOW! My kids actually do what they are supposed to do, for the most part. They aren't perfect (Proverbs 22:15).

Now, how should I discipline? We could talk for days on this one. We'll start with Proverbs 15:31. My words should be "life-giving". As many of you know, I am a yeller and I have many struggles with self-control and anger. So this verse is very convicting for me. So often, this is not how I choose to discipline my kids. I get angry and yell and then I see the defeat in my kids' eyes. My words should be life-giving instructions. To use this verse in a practical way, I will send my kids to their room until I have time to calm down. I make a conscious effort not to discipline when I am angry (Psalm 6:1; Psalm 38:1). While I am calming down, I will pray, look for verses to share with my children and ask God for His words. And by golly, it works! My kids are so much more responsive to discipline when God is with me and when I am using life-giving words. I want to be a life-giving mother. I refuse to be a life-drainer.

Promises

God makes many promises to His children during difficult times. Here are some of them...

• He hears my cries (Psalm 18:6)
• He will draw me out of deep waters (Psalm 18:6)
• He will hold onto me (Psalm 18:6)
• He turns my darkness to light (Psalm 18:28)
• He is merciful, compassionate, gracious and righteous (Psalm 116:5)
• He protects me (Psalm 116:6)
• He has already saved me (Psalm 116:6)
• He delivers my soul from death (Psalm 116:8)
• He is my everlasting light (Isaiah 60:20)
• He will end my days of sorrow (Isaiah 60:20)
• He will redeem me (Jeremiah 31:11)
• He took my infirmities and carried my sorrows (Isaiah 53:4) Note the past tense here. Even in the midst of my pain, He has already taken it away. Do I contiunue to hold onto the pain or take it back from Him?
• He has freed me (Psalm 116:16)

Now these are just a few verses that you could look up and meditate upon. I could write for years about what God has taught me in each one. But I encourage you to do the work and listen to what God is saying to you. He speaks to each one of us differently. Choose a verse and cling to it in times of trouble. He will never break a promise!

My favorite promise to cling to when I am really struggling with life is Joel 2:25 "I will repay the years the locusts have eaten. " What are the locusts in your life? What does God promise you in this verse? How does that give you hope?

For Him, Karin

What to do...

So what does the Bible say about how we should handle depression?? Here are some verses for you to review. This is not an exhaustive list for certain, but it will give you God's heart on this matter. Please listen to His voice as you read His Word.

• Trust in God's unfailing love (Psalm 13)
• Rejoice in my salvation (Psalm 13)
• Sing to the Lord (Psalm 13)
• Remember all the good things God has done for me (Psalm 13)
• Call to and cry out to God (Psalm 18:6)
• Praise God to all the nations; Proclaim what he has done for me (Psalm 18:49)
• Keep God's laws; follow His commands (Psalm 18:21)
• Love the Lord (Psalm 116:1)
• I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 116:9) I love this one because so often in the midst of despair I feel as if I am surrounded by death.
• I will lift up my salvation (Psalm 116:13-14)
• I will fulfill my vows to the Lord (Psalm 116:13-14) Remember all those times when youpray to God "Please, if you just get me through this pain, I promise to start spending more time with you?"
• I will be a servant of God (Psalm 116:16) Serving others will take your focus away from your problems.
• I will sacrifice a thank offering (Psalm 116:17)
• I will not die, but live! (Psalm 118:17) Memorize this one!!!
• I will dance and be glad (Jeremiah 31:12)
• I will not have "worldly" sorrow. I will repent. (II Corinthians 7:9&10)
• I will have a cheerful heart (Proverbs 17:22)

I encourage you to study these verses while you are filled with joy. Memorize them. Meditate upon them. Hide them in your heart for those times when you will need them most, for those times when you do not have the strength nor the will nor the desire to open your Bible. Tomorrow I will share with you all of the wonderful things God promises that He will do for us in our times of desperation.

Lovin Christ, Karin