Promises

God makes many promises to His children during difficult times. Here are some of them...

• He hears my cries (Psalm 18:6)
• He will draw me out of deep waters (Psalm 18:6)
• He will hold onto me (Psalm 18:6)
• He turns my darkness to light (Psalm 18:28)
• He is merciful, compassionate, gracious and righteous (Psalm 116:5)
• He protects me (Psalm 116:6)
• He has already saved me (Psalm 116:6)
• He delivers my soul from death (Psalm 116:8)
• He is my everlasting light (Isaiah 60:20)
• He will end my days of sorrow (Isaiah 60:20)
• He will redeem me (Jeremiah 31:11)
• He took my infirmities and carried my sorrows (Isaiah 53:4) Note the past tense here. Even in the midst of my pain, He has already taken it away. Do I contiunue to hold onto the pain or take it back from Him?
• He has freed me (Psalm 116:16)

Now these are just a few verses that you could look up and meditate upon. I could write for years about what God has taught me in each one. But I encourage you to do the work and listen to what God is saying to you. He speaks to each one of us differently. Choose a verse and cling to it in times of trouble. He will never break a promise!

My favorite promise to cling to when I am really struggling with life is Joel 2:25 "I will repay the years the locusts have eaten. " What are the locusts in your life? What does God promise you in this verse? How does that give you hope?

For Him, Karin

What to do...

So what does the Bible say about how we should handle depression?? Here are some verses for you to review. This is not an exhaustive list for certain, but it will give you God's heart on this matter. Please listen to His voice as you read His Word.

• Trust in God's unfailing love (Psalm 13)
• Rejoice in my salvation (Psalm 13)
• Sing to the Lord (Psalm 13)
• Remember all the good things God has done for me (Psalm 13)
• Call to and cry out to God (Psalm 18:6)
• Praise God to all the nations; Proclaim what he has done for me (Psalm 18:49)
• Keep God's laws; follow His commands (Psalm 18:21)
• Love the Lord (Psalm 116:1)
• I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living (Psalm 116:9) I love this one because so often in the midst of despair I feel as if I am surrounded by death.
• I will lift up my salvation (Psalm 116:13-14)
• I will fulfill my vows to the Lord (Psalm 116:13-14) Remember all those times when youpray to God "Please, if you just get me through this pain, I promise to start spending more time with you?"
• I will be a servant of God (Psalm 116:16) Serving others will take your focus away from your problems.
• I will sacrifice a thank offering (Psalm 116:17)
• I will not die, but live! (Psalm 118:17) Memorize this one!!!
• I will dance and be glad (Jeremiah 31:12)
• I will not have "worldly" sorrow. I will repent. (II Corinthians 7:9&10)
• I will have a cheerful heart (Proverbs 17:22)

I encourage you to study these verses while you are filled with joy. Memorize them. Meditate upon them. Hide them in your heart for those times when you will need them most, for those times when you do not have the strength nor the will nor the desire to open your Bible. Tomorrow I will share with you all of the wonderful things God promises that He will do for us in our times of desperation.

Lovin Christ, Karin

Sad Mom

So yesterday I took a "mental health" day, or you might more correctly call it a "mental break down" day. It was one of those days where I just needed to cry and scream a little bit (OK~ a lot). Have you had one of those days?? My poor husband has no idea what to do with me on these days because no matter what he does, it's wrong.

Don't worry, today I am feeling much better. But I want to take this opportunity to talk about it while the feelings are still fresh on my mind. As I have mentioned on other occasions, depression comes frequently into my life. I am currently choosing to forgo medicine and rely upon my God to see me through. Someday, that may change. For now, my depression is situational and is usually triggered by ongoing stress. I can become depressed because of my struggle as a mom and maintaining my home, but also because of my past. It rarely lasts more than a day. I have a plan in place and I use it. I do believe that God is still molding me.

I wrote this yesterday in the midst of my pain so I could remember and relay to you the feelings deep within me. For my friends and family, please do not be alarmed. I want to be real in this mommy blog. I am not a "fluff-n-stuff" kind of mom. And there are so many moms out there who struggle with these same feelings. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! All mommy's are not happy every day of their lives. There are some, yes, but not all. And I refuse to pretend that I am one of those moms. So here it is...

Invisible
I am the incredible shrinking woman
I am the disappearing girl.
I am invisible.
No one sees me.
No one hears me.
No one listens to what I have to say.
Darkness surrounds me.
Death consumes me.
I am alone.
All alone.
So why am I here?
Often I can go an entire day without one voluntary human touch.
The only time I am touched is usually because I am in the way and have been run into.
The only time I am noticed is when I stop doing and being.
Where is my shirt?
Where is my dinner?
I need to go to practice!
It’s not working!!
So why am I here?
No one sees me.
No one hears me.
No one listens to what I have to say.
I am here to serve.
And I am supposed to serve with joy in my heart.
But today the joy has vanished and it is hiding somewhere far, far away.
I have no energy.
I have no strength.
I have nothing.
I am nothing.
I want to be seen.
I want to be heard.
I want someone, anyone, to listen to me.
The world will go on without me.
So why am I here?
I want someone to pretend they care.
I want someone with the time to listen to me cry.
It is so hard in this sad world to find the joy that I so desperately seek.
I am here to serve.
Today I am trying to serve my family.
I have it all wrong.
And I know it.
I want to wallow in my self-pity for a while.
I want to feel and fully know the sadness, the darkness within me.
I know that He is here with me.
He has held me all day.
At one point, it was He who held me back.
I will rest in His arms tonight.
I will wake in the morning and seek out His joy.
I will never find it or fully comprehend it.
Until I die.
Tomorrow I will seek Him.
I will serve Him.
His grace is sufficient for me.

So this is how I feel, but what does the Bible say about depression? The Bible doesn't directly speak of depression (meaning that I cannot find one verse that has the word"depression" in it), but I do know that David struggled with it. So I look to the Psalms. Since this blog seems unending right now, today I will focus only on how David felt when he was depressed.

The Bible vividly describes depression as...

• a feeling of abandonment (even Jesus felt this way Matthew 27:46; Mark 14:34; Psalm 13:1; Psalm 22:1 )
• feeling all alone (Psalm 13)
• feels like it will never end (Psalm 13)
• begins in my head, with my thoughts (Psalm13)
• a feeling that satan and my enemies have won (Psalm 13)
• surrounded by death and destruction (Psalm 18:4-5)
• distressed (Psalm 18:6)
• feeling faint, bones in agony (Psalm 6:2)
• feeling empty, heart aching, weak, strength is dried up, cannot speak (Psalm 22:14)
• worn out, groaning, weeping all night (Psalm 6:6)
• weak with sorrow (Psalm 6:7)
• unceasing anguish in my heart (Romans 9:2)

This is how it feels- physically, emotionally, and mentally. If you have ever had depression, you know these symptoms well. This is exactly how I feel when I am in my own little funk. Fortunately, I have a God who wrote these words and knows how I feel. He understands my pain to the depths of my soul.

And tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will share what the Bible says I should do in these times of deep sorrow. Until then, I am finding joy in Him.

Karin

Dancing Queen

I saw the Broadway showing of "Mama Mia" last night and I am still dancing and singing this morning. I cannot get the music out of my head. I am sure the people watching me in my car must think I have gone completely crazy. And while I am singing and dancing to these secular songs, I cannot stop thinking about my God. I am filled to overflowing with joy. I have so, so much to be thankful for. So today, I just want to worship and praise my God all day long. I will ask Him for nothing because He has supplied all my needs (Philippians 4:19) and given me so much more. Today I will lift Him up, glorify His name, sing songs to my King and give thanks for all that I have in Him. What a beautiful day!

Thank you Lord for my home, my health, my happiness. Thank you for this overwhelming joy inside my soul that can only come from you. Thank you for my family and friends who stand beside me despite my many moods. Thank you for my memories that have brought me so much happiness and shaped me into the woman I am today. Thank you, Lord, for the beauty that surrounds me this season. Thank you for the body you've given me and for seeing the beauty in your creation despite the faults that I may dwell upon. You are an awesome and mighty and powerful God and nothing can compare to your greatness.

Psalm 92:1-2 "It is good to praise the Lord and make music in your name, O Most High, to proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night..."

I encourage you to read the rest of that Psalm and allow God to speak to your heart. I challenge you to praise, honor and thank your God all day long, without requiring anything in return. Allow God to fill your soul today, fill it to overflowing with His joy. Turn on your favorite music and sing to Him! Grab your kids and sing and dance praises to our King. Throw a feather boa around your neck and become a "dancing queen" for God and have the time of your life!!!

Out of my mouth

Sometimes God is speaking to us, and we really aren't listening. So, He repeats himself again and again and again until we finally say, "OK! OK! I get it!" Today is one of those days. I have come across a verse several times and I would like to share my thoughts on it with you.

Psalm 5:9 "Not a word from their mouths can be trusted; their heart is filled with destruction. Their throat is an open grave; with their tongue they speak deceit."

In previous posts I've mentioned my struggles with anger management, self-control and holding my tongue. Here, David is talking to God about his many enemies. But for me, God is speaking about me. This verse describes exactly who I am from my heart. I am not perfect. I am a sinner. And to be completely honest, in my anger, this is who I become.

The words that flow out of my mouth come from my heart (Matthew 12:34). When I am yelling at my kids or my husband, my words cannot be trusted because I am usually trying to manipulate the situation to benefit me. My heart is filled with destruction because all I want to do is make the other person feel as badly as I do at that particular moment. My throat is an open grave as I speak words that are simply "killing" the other person's spirit (Proverbs 15:4). I speak with deceit as I spout out anything that comes to my mind, truth or not.

This verse speaks to who I am. But it is not who I want to be. It is not who God created me to be. And it is not who I have to be. With Jesus Christ in my life, at the forefront of my mind; with God's love overflowing in my heart (see again Matthew 12:34), I can be the exact opposite of this verse (Psalm 119:171&172). God has given me the power to no longer be this person who speaks destruction, deceit, and death. I can be a mother who speaks wisdom (Proverbs 31:26), righteousness (Psalm 51:14), and praise (Psalm 71:23)

Thank goodness for a God who forgives. Thank goodness for a Bible that can teach me how to change. I am so blessed to have His power and strength inside of me during the difficult times in my life. It is His words that will flow from my mouth when I become angry.

"May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you" (Psalm 137:6)

God's Crayons

Isn't our God amazing!!! I am just in awe at the beauty He has created for us. Is there any scientific reason for the change in colors? Is it necessary for the survival of the trees, or is this just one of those wonderful blessings that God made for no other reason than our sheer enjoyment?? Saturday was the most perfect Fall day. Clear blue skies, white puffy clouds, a cool crispness in the air, and then I walked upon this tree. The leaves were almost fluorescent in the sunlight. What color is this anyways? Red? Orange? It doesn't really matter. It's gorgeous!! I wonder what other colors God has in his crayon box up in heaven.

When I look at the magnificent colors on the hillsides of New York, I cannot help but wonder how God could create anything more beautiful. And yet He has. I cannot wait to see the brilliance of heaven. I get excited just thinking about it. I cannot imagine a more beautiful scene than Fall leaves changing color. But heaven is going to be so much greater, something I cannot even imagine, no matter how many times I try.


What an awesome creator we have!! I am simply stunned by His beautiful works.
I Corinthians 2:9

Simplify

I have been trying to simplify my life for a while now. It all started when we moved from the fast pace of a big city to the slower walk of a small town. When we lived in Jacksonville, Florida, we were constantly on the go to school, work, sports and church activities. Five years ago, when we moved to upstate New York, we spent an entire year practicing saying "no" to any major responsibilities. We spent the year simply enjoying our family and slowing our pace. It was the absolute best year of our marriage/family. Very soon after this time though, we began working more and looking for ways to get involved in our community and church. It didn't take us long to begin running again. Our lives quickly spiraled out of control.

My good friend Gina has reminded me over the years to "simplify". In fact, her entire ministry (DeepStream- http://www.streamthoughts.blogspot.com/) revolves around simplifying our lives to better serve Christ. Over the past few months I have begun the purging process to get back to a simpler lifestyle. I quit my job. I cut back on my ministry responsibilities at church. I stopped going out to every women's get together I could find. And I began focusing my time and energy on my family. I often ask myself "Why am I choosing to do this activity? And is this really what God wants me to be doing with my time?" I am usually doing something because society tells me I have to, like having my kids involved in every sport during every season. God wants me to spend quality time with my kids. He doesn't intend for me to be yelling at them "Hurry up and eat! Get your shoes! Where's your soccer ball? Go! Go! Go! We're going to be late!!"

The word "simplify" keeps coming to my mind. When times are rough, take a break. Sit back and breathe. Slow down. Simplify. I came across this idea in Haggai 1:5-9. I especially like 7 & 9, "Give careful thought to your ways... My house remains in ruins while each of you is busy with his own house." Am I too busy with my own life to serve my God in the ways He has intended for me??

I want to encourage you to simplify your life. You don't have to move to another town and start all over. You don't have to give up everything. Just ask yourself, "Am I doing too much? Am I able to take care of the responsibilities that God has given to me?" You could start with something small, like only doing the dishes at the end of the day rather than after every meal. It may be bigger, like stepping down from a leadership position that is taking too much time away from your family.

I would love to hear ways that you have simplified your life and how God has blessed you through that change.

Simply, Karin