Happy Mommy- Happy Father

I must admit, I have been known to bribe my children in order to get them to behave. Although, I think that I have done this one too many times. And I am sure many parenting coaches out there would disapprove of this method. But sometimes, it just has to be done!! My kids will often ask me, "What do I get if I'm good?" This is not a concept I want them to have. I want my children to do the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do, not because they are going to get something out of it. My reply every time they ask this particular question is, "You'll get a happy mommy." They usually respond with whining, to which I remind them that if they continue they will be getting a very angry mommy. This will most likely stop any talking,whining, begging or bargaining and I can have a few moments of quiet to myself.

I am so much like my children. I try my best to be obedient to God. I am a sinner and I am not perfect, and I'd like to think that I do my best live according to His Word. But so many times I think, "Well, if I do this one thing for God, then He will bless me with what I want." How many times have I prayed, "God, if you give me this (fill in the blank), then I will do whatever you ask of me." I expect to see tangible results for my obedience. Is this really the attitude God wants from me? It certainly is not the attitude I want from my children. I should be thankful that God hasn't already stricken me down by lightening for all of my shenanigans!

When I make good choices, then I will receive the blessing of a very happy Father. I've already received forgiveness for my sins, what else could I possibly want?

Passion

I read a quote today...

"Success (Passion) is waking up in the morning, whoever you are, wherever you are, however old or young, and bounding out of bed because there's something out there that you love to do, that you believe in, that you're good at- something that's bigger than you are and you can hardly wait to go at it again today. It is something you'd rather be doing than anything else. you wouldn't give it up for money, because it means more to you than money." Whit Hobbs

I love this quote and I plan on posting it somewhere in my house. It got me thinking this morning. Do I feel this way about motherhood? Am I a passionate, successful mom? A while ago, I would have had to say no. But God has since given me a passion and desire to be the mom that He intends me to be. I have been on a quest to truly understand God and me and this whole mommy thing. And here I am, passionate about something that I used to loathe. I love seeing my children's faces first thing in the morning. I love planning out our days and our weekends together. I can't wait for my oldest son to get off the bus and eat cookies with him and listen all about his playground battles with friends.

My favorite Bible verse concerning my children is I Samuel 1:27. I prayed for each of my children. I wanted kids more than anything in the world. Why? I'm not sure I could have answered that question before I gave birth to our first son, but my heart's desire at that time was to have a family complete with kids. And God granted me my heart's desire. He gave me exactly what I prayed for each time. Even our foster daughter was an answer to prayer. So when did that desire for kids fade and turn into apathy? Why did I spend so many of my mothering years in a funk? Maybe it all happened when I became more concerned about me and how tired I was or what others were thinking when my boys misbehaved in public. When my desires turned away from God's desires, I lost my passion~ quickly.

To be honest, I don't always jump out of bed to greet my children with a happy face. For those of you who know me well enough, you know that I am NOT a morning person. But I am seeking God's desires for me as a mom and I am loving every minute of it. I am good at it. It is so much bigger than me and I can hardly wait to go out and do it again today. I'd rather be a mom right now than anything else in the world and I would never, never, not ever, trade this job for any amount of money.

Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...
1. What are your passions?

2. Are they God's passions as well?

3. How do you know?

Cooking Dinner for God

As moms, we often don't get the recognition we deserve. Every once in a while I might get a "thanks mom", but that's about it.

Dinner time is most frustrating for me. My kitchen philosophy is, "if it takes longer than 20 minutes to prepare, it doesn't get made." So, I don't typically spend a lot of time cooking. But I do take the time to experiment with new recipes, go shopping and try to make things that everyone will enjoy. It is inevitable, no matter what I make, someone in my family will sit down at the table and say, "I don't like this." You don't even know if you don't like it. And even if we all know that you don't like... FINE!!! DON'T EAT IT! (can you see where my anger issues come into play here??) I try to teach my kids to be thankful for what they have, but they don't care. They don't like it and they must announce it to the world. I think it's time to pack up their dinner and send it to the starving children in Africa.

I went off on a little tangent there. Sorry. To the point... One of my jobs as a mom is to serve my children. I am not talking about waiting on my children hand and foot. I do want them to become self-sufficient before they turn 30. Cooking dinner comes to mind because this is an act of service that I enjoy. It is something that my kids are unable to do yet and it is a need that must be met. I love to serve my family in this way. I don't expect recognition. Although it is nice when my children thank God in their sweet little prayers for a mommy who makes such a yummy dinner. But then, as soon as they open their eyes they say "Eeeeeewwwww! Yuck. What's this?"

OK, another tangent. I promise to get on with this.

It is selfless to serve. That is where my problem lies. I know that no service, especially the service of a mother, goes unnoticed or even unappreciated by our God. So why do I get so upset when I don't receive the praise I think I deserve? Why do I even care if my kids are unhappy with the dinner menu? Because it's all about me, me, me! (note the sarcasm)


Galatians 1: 10 popped into my head today. Who am I really serving? Am I serving God or man? By golly, I am serving God. I do not make yummy dinners to please my children and have them tell me every night what a wonderful chef I am. I am cooking dinner for my God. Because it makes Him happy to see me serve my family in a selfless way, with or without their approval.

I am an example to my children just like Jesus is an example for me. He served without complaint no matter what was asked of Him (John 13:14-15, 17 is just one example). To live for God is to serve others. This is what I want my kids to see in my life, even if the "others" complain nonstop and are never content with what I give them!

Maybe I should make it a "pizza and ice cream night" tonight.


Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...
In your role as mom, how do you serve God?

Is it worth the lack of recognition?

Why?

Big Plans

My youngest son begins Kindergarten next year. My husband and I have decided that it will be time for me to go back to work at that point. It was actually our plan all along. Once the kids were all in school, I would go back to work. The only problem is that I have grown accustomed to living off my husband's paycheck. I like unemployment. I really don't want to go back to work and if I do, what will I do?? I have just a few more months to decide. What does God really want me to do with my future?



I have learned my lesson about doing my own thing when God wants me somewhere else. So I am treading down this path very carefully. I want God's will for my life. I don't want to waste my time in a place that He never intended me to be. So I am praying and seeking Him until I know for sure, without a shadow of a doubt, what God's plan is for my life.



I began reading a book called "Pathway to Purpose for Women" by Katie Brazelton. What is my purpose? Does God want me to go into teaching again? Do I go back to school? Do I start my own business? Do I convince my husband that I really want to stay home and do nothing but eat bon-bons and watch soaps all day?? (probably not, but it's worth a shot) I haven't finished the book, but this I know for sure...



The Bible very clearly states in I Corinthians 2: 9, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what god has prepared for those who love Him!" My God has big, BIG plans for my life (and yours). I don't know exactly what they are, yet. But He has it all under control. I can't even imagine the possibilities. So while I wait and pray for the path that God wants me to follow into my future, I will have hope. I get all excited just thinking about it! And while I wait and pray, I will enjoy every moment of the path that I am currently on. He has big, Big plans for me and I am living out those plans right now. I am a mom. What bigger plan could I ask for?? My God is so good.

Holding My Tongue

So, usually my anger manifests itself into some pretty nasty things that come out of my mouth. Today I'd like to share some of my thoughts on holding my tongue...

Often times I get so angry that I say things that I wish I hadn't. I am not thinking about the words coming out and they are usually harmful. Sometimes I am trying to manipulate the situation to make it someone else's fault, when really I am the one to blame. (I am very good at that, by the way.) So, I ask myself, "What would happen if I were to keep my mouth shut when I get angry?"

• Maybe I would have a calmer, quieter spirit.
• Maybe I wouldn't sin in my anger.
• Maybe I would do more listening.
• Maybe I would have a clearer head to hear God's voice.
• Maybe I would diffuse the situation.
• Maybe I wouldn't hold onto my anger for so long.
• Maybe I wouldn't even get angry.

There are so many verses to cover here, so I will save that for another day. For now, why don't you look up a verse or two and see what God has to say to you. Here are some of my favorites...

Proverbs 10:19; Proverbs 17:27; ***Proverbs 31:26***

Anger Management Continued

I want to continue my thoughts from a previous post on anger management. Over the past few months, I have looked up verses in my Bible concerning anger and self-control. Here is what I found...

• God gets angry, too. (Exodus 32:10-14; Leviticus 26:14-46; Numbers 32:10-13; Deuteronomy 9:19; Deuteronomy 29:28. I could go on and on with verses from the Old Testament)
• God has compassion when just one of his children ask for it, even in the midst of His anger. (Exodus 32:10-14)
• God will punish for wrongdoing. (Leviticus 26:14-46)
• God rewards for obedience - blessings, safety, peace, favor, no fear, abundance (Leviticus 26:1-13)
• God is slow to anger. (Numbers 14:18)
• God is abounding in love. (Numbers 14:18)
• God is abounding in forgiveness(Numbers 14:18)
• God has been know to punish sinners by denying his promises to them. (Numbers 32:10-13)
• Each day is a new day to try and get it right. God's compassion is new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22)
• Even though I continue to sin, God is forgiving, gracious, compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love. (Nehemiah 9:17; Psalm 86:15)
• God's anger lasts only for a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime. (Psalm 30:5)
• God restrains his anger and does not release His full wrath. (Psalm 78:38)
• God does not harbor his anger. (Psalm 103:9-10)
• God does not treat me as I deserve. (Psalm 103:9-10)
• I am commanded to use gentle words, not harsh ones. (Proverbs 15:1)
• Do not sin when you are angry. (Ephesians 4:26-17)
• I am commanded to keep myself under control (Proverbs 29:11)
• I need to check myself by asking, "Why am I angry? Do I have a right to be angry?"(Jonah 4:4)
• I will not give the devil a foothold!! (Ephesians 4:26-27) Anger and a lack of self-control are my weakness and satan knows it. I will be tempted. I cannot give him a foothold or he wins.
• God's desire for my life is to be righteous, and anger is not a part of that.(James 1:19-20)
• I will be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19-20)

God is the perfect example. So many of these verses speak to me in so many ways. I could blog for days about each one, but I won't. I want God to speak to you. Take the time to pick one or two verses that He is speaking to you and meditate on them this week. The verses that I cling to, the ones that rise up when I feel that anger in the pit of my stomach are Proverbs 15:1 and James 1:19-20.

Livin' for His Joy, Karin

Pray today

Today I encourage you to pray. If you never pray for our country or our troops, today should be a day that you do. It only takes a minute. Imagine the hours of prayers that God will receive if every person in America prays for just one minute today.

I remember very vividly the day that our country was attacked. And on every September 11, my heart aches for the lives lost that day and for the lives lost since then. I am so fortunate that there are men and women willing to die for me, for my family, for my freedom. I could not write this blog without them.

The foundation of this great country lies at the foot of the cross. So today, use your freedom that God has given you and pray.

Anger Management

I have always had an explosive temper. My husband often says that sometimes I just "snap" for seemingly no reason. I try my best to maintain control, and then the fuming smoke builds inside of me until I lose it! I've had this problem since childhood and I remember kids avoiding me because of my explosive nature. When I was teaching, my students always knew when to back off because my face began to turn blood red before one of my outbursts. It's sad for me to think that it was my anger and uncontrolled outbursts that defined who I was for so long. I pray that anger and temper tantrums (literally) will not be what my children remember when they think of their mommy. I need to make some changes.


Honestly, the most difficult part for me as a mom is controlling my temper. I struggle with a lot when it comes to motherhood, but anger management is definitely at the top of my list.


I'd like to think that I have a hot temper because I am a natural red head. Or it could be because of the circumstances of my past. There are a lot of things I could blame my outbursts on. But I also know that these are all just excuses to validate my sin. I have a choice to make. God commands me to be self-controlled and even tempered (Proverbs 29:11). As usual, this is not a mere suggestion or practical advice, but a command from God. If I am giving full vent to my anger, then I am sinning. It's black and white. Fortunately, I have a compassionate God who loves me. I know that despite what has already happened, God can make something new~ without anger, without exploding.


Lord~ Today , I am seeking a verse to cling to that will help me to control my temper. When I feel the anger in the pit of my stomach moving up, I need God's Word to spill out of my heart, to change the anger to joy, to stop me in my tracks, to make me a new mommy (II Corinthians 5:17).

(Note~ It's OK to get angry. God and Jesus have both been angry. It's how I get angry and why I am angry that causes me to fall. It's more about controlling my emotions rather than letting them control me. But that's a topic for another day.)

Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...

What verse do you cling to when you get angry??
BTW- I know that many of you who read this have very hectic schedules. So please do not feel the obligation to respond. I just want to get you thinking. But, on the other hand, there may be a mom out there who would benefit from your insight. Just a thought.

God's Will for Moms

I have come to a place in my life where I know that I cannot be like other moms~ particularly moms in magazines or on TV. I realize that I am showing my age, but...


When I think of mom's in our media, I think about Peggy from the TV show "Married with Children". What a terrible example of a mother. I realize that was the purpose of her role, but still, it glorified her as a mom. I am also reminded of June Cleaver. Could I ever live up to her standards as the perfect American mother? Why do I compare myself to these women? Is that really what God wants for me? No.


Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."


I don't want to be any other mom than the mom that God intended me to be. So who is that woman exactly?? I know for a fact that I don't want and God doesn't want me to be a "Peggy" or a "June". I could never even attempt to look as good as Julia Roberts after twins. So what is God's will for me as a mom?


God wants me to renew my mind, to change my way of thinking as a mother. I will no longer look at mom's in our culture and try to be like them. I need to be transformed. I will not be like the mom's who have conformed to the patterns of this world. I don't even want to be the same mother that I have been in my own past. I want to be changed. I want to be renewed by God's Word. I want to be a new mom, a better mom, the mom that God has designed me to be.


I Thessalonians 4:3 tells me that God's will for me is to be sanctified, to be holy. I am to be set apart and different from other moms, and my children should be able to see this in me. God wants me to be like Christ. In I Thessalonians 5:16-18, God tells me again exactly what His will for my life is. God's wants me to be joyful. His will is for me is to pray all the time (for my kids, for my marriage, for my sanity). And God wants me to be thankful for everything~ good and bad.


So to sum it all up... God's will for me as a mom is to be transformed, to be renewed, to be sanctified, to be holy, to be Christ-like, to be joyful, to pray continually, and to give thanks. That's it. It's that basic. I can do that.


Dear Jesus~ Will you please transform me as a mother? Will you make me and mold me into a new mom, a better mom, the mom you have created me to be? I am willing. Show me how! Let me hear your voice throughout this day and respond to the calling you have given to me. Thank you Lord. Thank you.

How to fix a happy...

My youngest son loves for me to rub his back and arms and hands. Do you have one like that? He's like a cat sometimes when he quietly sneaks up and maneuvers himself under my hand. So often, I find myself rubbing his arms without realizing how long I've been doing it. Most of the time, I really don't mind. It's sweet and offers some quiet, one-on-one for just the two of us. But there are some days when I've just had enough. Today was one of those days.

I had both of my four year old children laying on me for about an hour and I was tired of being touched. So I asked them very nicely to step back and give mommy a few minutes alone. My son looked at me with his sad eyes and said, "Mommy, you broke my happy," and he walked away with his head down and shoulders sagging. What was I supposed to do?? I had to fix his happy, and quick! I immediately put him in my lap and began rubbing his back.

This is exactly how my little boy always get what he wants!!!

Mother Verses

Since April, I have been studying "motherhood" in the Bible. I have covered several different topics that were important to me. I only used my Bible, a notebook, and a pen. On occasion, I would look up words and verses in a Bible dictionary or explanatory notes. But for the most part, I simply read the Bible and asked God for meaning. I have spent most of my time in prayer, listening to God's voice. I would like to share some of what I have learned, and hopefully inspire some of you moms out there to study God's Word on your own.

I began my journey by simply looking up verses in the Bible that held the word "mother" in them. My Bible does not have an exhaustive concordance, so I only have a fraction of the verses that are available to us. Here is what i found...

• There are many great mothers in the Bible that I can follow as an example. (Eve, Sarah, Mary, Deborah...)
• A mother is to be honored. Exodus 20:12; Deuteronomy 27:16
• A mother is never to be cursed. Leviticus 20:9
• A mom should give her children to the Lord, but also take care of them and bring them special treats. I Samuel 2:19
• God can make me a happy mom. Psalm 113:9
• As a mom, I will be glad. I will rejoice! Proverbs 23:25
• A mother should use the "rod of correction". Proverbs 29:15
• God calls me, as a mother, to give wisdom and teach wisdom to my children. Proverbs 31:1
• Even if a mother forgets her children (in my case, I tend to forget my kids when I am seeking "me" over them), God can pick up the pieces. He will never forget my children! Isaiah 49:15
• I will comfort my children. Isaiah 66:13
• I will love and show love to my children, even when they sin (over and over again) Romans 5:8
• My children should love God more than they love me.Matthew 10:34-37
• I will seek God's will for me and my family. Matthew 12:50
• A mother should give to help others. Matthew 15:5-7
• I will make sure that my children hear the Word of God and obey it! Luke 11:27-28
• I need to be gentle when caring for my children. I Thessalonians 2:7
• I need to live out my faith in front of my children. II Timothy 1:5

Key Words

gentle, live out my faith, teach, seek God's will, love God, honored, happy, glad, rejoice, comfort, love, care for, give special treats

I encourage you to look up verses that God has spoken to you today. I encourage you to pray and listen to God's voice. I pray that we will become the mothers that God has intended us to be!!

Something to think about (and maybe share with the rest of us)...

Which verses about motherhood hold special meaning for you??

Lovin Christ, Karin