Life-giving discipline

Discipline is probably one of the most important tasks given to a parent. It is also probably one of the most difficult and most frustrating aspects of motherhood. I have heard so many mom's struggle in this area. Let's stop pretending every day is a joyous occasion and admit that some days just stink. My kids very rarely listen to what I have to say and so often make the wrong choices. I was not given an instruction manual when my kids were born! Or was I? Let's take a look at what Godly discipline looks like. Here are a couple of questions we can start with...

Why should I discipline? Proverbs 3:11 answers that question. "To produce a harvest of righteousness and peace." I want my children to be Godly men and women some day. I choose to discipline my children so that they will follow and obey God in all that do. This is what I ultimately want for my kids, but is this, in reality, why I discipline? No, not really. I most often discipline my kids because they aren't doing what I want them to do. They are making me look or feel bad. Once again, it's all about me. And that is when my earthly discipline fails me. That is when my kids don't get it and they stop listening to me. When I choose discipline that is Godly, that brings about peace and righteousness, then WOW! My kids actually do what they are supposed to do, for the most part. They aren't perfect (Proverbs 22:15).

Now, how should I discipline? We could talk for days on this one. We'll start with Proverbs 15:31. My words should be "life-giving". As many of you know, I am a yeller and I have many struggles with self-control and anger. So this verse is very convicting for me. So often, this is not how I choose to discipline my kids. I get angry and yell and then I see the defeat in my kids' eyes. My words should be life-giving instructions. To use this verse in a practical way, I will send my kids to their room until I have time to calm down. I make a conscious effort not to discipline when I am angry (Psalm 6:1; Psalm 38:1). While I am calming down, I will pray, look for verses to share with my children and ask God for His words. And by golly, it works! My kids are so much more responsive to discipline when God is with me and when I am using life-giving words. I want to be a life-giving mother. I refuse to be a life-drainer.